Building Emotional Intimacy as a Survivor of CSE
As a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation, building emotional intimacy in relationships can be challenging. Vulnerability is not something that may come easily after having experienced trauma. However, emotional intimacy is crucial to building deep connections with partners.
What is Intimacy?
Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, emotionally connected, and supported. It involves being open, vulnerable, and sharing a range of thoughts, feelings, and experiences with someone you love. However, as survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), building emotional intimacy can be challenging, as vulnerability is not something we're used to in our past experiences. It’s important to understand what emotional intimacy is and how to build it, even if it takes some practice.
First, it’s important to recognize that emotional intimacy is not just about physical acts, like holding hands or cuddling. Rather, it’s about creating a deep connection with a partner by sharing feelings, vulnerabilities and building trust. Emotional intimacy provides a sense of security within a relationship and enables individuals to be themselves, without the fear of rejection.
Without this intimacy, a relationship may suffer and make it difficult to feel connected to one another and can lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness. It's crucial to prioritize emotional intimacy in any partnership to foster growth, connection, and long-term satisfaction.
Here are four immediate ways survivors of CSE can improve emotional intimacy in their relationships:
1. Be Strategically Vulnerable to Earn their Trust
Breaking down personal walls and becoming vulnerable can be difficult, even in long-standing relationships. While you can't force your partner to become vulnerable, you can lead by example. Start small by sharing something that happened at work or expressing a feeling that's been challenging to share. By being strategically vulnerable, you create a safe space for your partner to reciprocate.
2. Give Daily Affirmations and Compliments
Expressing appreciation and affirmations on a daily basis helps you and your partner feel seen and cherished. Make it a habit to give specific compliments that highlight their positive qualities and actions. Letting your partner know how deeply you love them or appreciating their efforts can go a long way in nurturing emotional intimacy.
3. Communicate and Check-In
Effective communication is the foundation of emotional intimacy. Share your feelings, needs, and aspirations with your partner openly. Take the time to check in with each other regularly to maintain a sense of connection and understanding. By actively participating in conversation and actively listening to your partner, you can cultivate emotional intimacy. Make time for each other, even if it’s just five minutes to check in.
4. Create Opportunities for Intimacy
Carving out quality time to be together and focus on your relationship is essential. Find moments to engage in intimate activities such as washing each other's hair, cooking together, or even taking a nap together. Explore new activities and share your deepest fears, dreams, and aspirations with one another. Remember, intimacy extends beyond physical connection.
It's important to acknowledge that building intimacy can be challenging, especially for survivors of CSE. Past traumas, communication issues, conflicts, and practical concerns may hinder intimacy. Always be compassionate with yourself and your partner as you work together to overcome these barriers.
Building emotional intimacy takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Celebrate the good things in your relationship, talk openly about your feelings and needs, and create opportunities for intimacy. Remember, both you and your partner should initiate opportunities for connection and growth.
By stepping out of your comfort zone, being vulnerable, and engaging in activities that foster trust and connection, you can develop a deeper emotional bond. Building intimacy is a journey, and it's important to give yourself permission to let go and embrace the curiosity that comes with exploring a deeper connection with your partner.
Even small moments, like washing each other's hair, cooking together, or holding hands while talking about your day, can contribute to building intimacy.
As a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation, building emotional intimacy in relationships may take extra effort, but it’s worth it. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you build trust and secure connections with a partner.
Remember that OPS is here to offer comprehensive services that promote healing, recovery and empowerment, for you and many others who have experienced trauma.
You have the power to build emotional intimacy, fostering healing, growth, and resilience in your relationships.